+Evil-Angel+

chepibola:

have i told you guys about that one time i had to do a presentation on class but i was being a lazy fuck so i just copied one i found on the internet and presented it but the whole time my teacher was giving me weird glares ok so after i was done i realized the work i copied had my university watermark on it but like from years ago long story short i had copied my teacher’s work when he was a student and presented it to him years later

emmugh:

I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes

farrahtales:

If you don’t strategically eat your food so that the last bites to go in your mouth are the tastiest look at your choices

lucifershipsit:

 

thorxndor:

I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay

and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet

so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”

and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me  

❝ 'Are you always a smartass?'
‘Nope. Sometimes I’m asleep.’ ❞

— Jim Butcher, Blood Rites (via h-o-r-n-g-r-y)

officialunitedstates:

FACT OF THE DAY:  it’s apparently not okay to raise 16,200 seagulls from birth, train them every day in the art of aerial warfare, and then unleash them upon a medium sized township

terrakion:

stop saying you accept a queer person’s “life choices”

antipurity:

I want to be a mature adult and work and make a name for myself and become successful but I also want to lie face down on the floor and eat ice cream in my pajamas all day and never go outside do you see my dilemma.

chrismas95:

One of my favorite lines in the show